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How to Successfully Submit to Modern Love NYT Submissions

Reaching out to Modern Love at the New York Times can feel like a Herculean task, doesn’t it? Trust me, you’re not alone in these jittery feelings. Wrestling with those same doubts, I unearthed the essentials for crafting an essay that stands out.

This blog is your guide to navigating the submission process with ease, sprinkled with insider tips that will make your story shine. Let’s dive in together!

Table of Contents

Key Takeaways

• Follow the Modern Love submission guidelines on The New York Times website, keeping your essay between 1,500-1,700 words . Share true experiences about love and relationships .
• Use your email’s subject line wisely by including the topic or a potential title of your essay to grab an editor’s attention quickly.
• Focus on modern relationships in your essay, bringing personal stories to life with vivid descriptions and dialogue to engage readers and editors alike.
• Expect a response within 6 months after submitting your work through the specified process on The New York Times Modern Love page without any notifications until a decision is reached.
• Submitting to Modern Love presents an opportunity for wide exposure in The New York Times and could add credibility to your writing portfolio.

How to Submit Your Essay to Modern Love

Submit your essay to Modern Love by following the submission guidelines and adhering to the length requirements. Craft a strong submission by focusing on a modern relationship, using personal anecdotes, and incorporating storytelling techniques.

Submission guidelines

Check the Modern Love page on The New York Times website for all you need to know about submission guidelines. Make sure your essay tells a personal story about love and relationships today.

Your words should reflect true experiences that touch hearts and provoke thoughts. Submit your work by sending it to [email protected] , but first, ensure your essay is within 1,500-1,700 words .

Put the subject of your essay or a possible title in the email’s subject line to catch an editor’s eye. Following these steps closely increases your chances of catching the attention of Dan Jones , the column’s editor who sifts through around 8,000 submissions each year.

Next up: understanding how long your submission should be will take you closer to publication.

Length requirements

Essays for Modern Love should be 1,500-1,700 words long . The length of your essay is vital to meeting the submission guidelines. Remember that your story needs to fit within this word range so you can captivate the readers and make an impact.

This ensures that your work aligns with the expectations of the column’s editor Dan Jones and has a chance at being considered for publication in The New York Times . Understanding these requirements will help set your submission up for success.

Moving on to “Email subject line”..

Email subject line

When submitting to Modern Love, use the essay’s subject or a possible title in the email subject line . This helps editors understand your submission and categorize it correctly. For example, “ Modern Love Submission : My Unconventional Romance” lets them know what to expect when they open your email.

Remember, a clear and catchy subject line can make your submission stand out among the thousands they receive each year.

Tips for Crafting a Strong Submission

Crafting a strong submission requires focusing on modern relationships and using personal anecdotes. Incorporate storytelling techniques to make your essay compelling.

Focus on a modern relationship

When crafting your Modern Love submission, make sure to focus on contemporary relationships , marriage, and dating. Use personal anecdotes to illustrate the complexities of modern love while incorporating storytelling techniques to captivate the readers.

Emphasize the ever-evolving nature of relationships in today’s world through your narrative.

The next section will cover more tips for creating a compelling submission that resonates with the editors at Modern Love.

Use personal anecdotes

Craft your essay with personal anecdotes to bring authenticity and connection to your writing. Share specific experiences that highlight the emotions, challenges, and growth within modern relationships.

These real-life stories can make your submission relatable and engaging for readers, enhancing the impact of your message. Incorporating personal narratives will elevate the depth and resonance of your essay, making it more compelling for consideration by Modern Love editors.

Incorporate storytelling techniques

When crafting a Modern Love submission, consider using personal anecdotes to bring your relationship experiences to life. Utilize storytelling techniques such as vivid descriptions and engaging dialogue to captivate the reader’s attention.

By incorporating these elements, you can create a compelling narrative that resonates with the Modern Love audience.

The Submission Process

Submitting to Modern Love is an exciting opportunity. Read more for details on the submission process.

How to submit through the New York Times website

To submit through the New York Times website:

• Visit The New York Times Modern Love page .
• Click on “Submit an Essay for Consideration.”
• Fill out the required information accurately .
• Attach your essay as specified (1,500 – 1,700 words).
• Review and adhere to the official submission guidelines.
• Submit your essay and await a response from the editors .

Response time and notifications

After submitting your essay to Modern Love, expect a response within 6 months . The submission process does not provide notifications until the final decision is made. Keep an eye on your email for a response from Dan Jones, the column’s editor and be patient throughout this period of waiting.

Consider submitting your love story to Modern Love and don’t miss out on this publication opportunity.

Benefits of submitting to Modern Love

Submitting to Modern Love offers the chance for my love stories and personal essays to be seen by a large audience through The New York Times . There’s also potential recognition and credibility from being published in such a prestigious literary magazine , which writers like me certainly desire.

Encouragement to submit

Don’t hesitate to submit your essay to Modern Love. The editors are eager for fresh and authentic stories like yours. You could be one of the lucky writers chosen from the 8,000 submissions received each year.

Your personal narrative about modern relationships is valuable and could resonate with countless readers . Submit now to share your unique voice with a wide audience and join the ranks of successful Modern Love contributors.

Unlock the opportunity to see your work published in one of the most prominent platforms for relationship essays by submitting today!

Victoria Sterling is a seasoned author and publishing consultant dedicated to empowering writers on their journey to success. With over two decades of experience in the publishing industry, Victoria provides invaluable guidance and support to writers, helping them navigate the complexities of publishing and achieve their literary dreams. Through her expertise and passion for storytelling, Victoria inspires writers to unleash their creativity and thrive in the ever-evolving world of publishing.

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First Lines of Rejected “Modern Love” Essays

Modern Love is a weekly column, a book, a podcast—and now, in its 16th year, a television show—about relationships, feelings, betrayals and revelations. — The Times.

My husband and I don’t text, we don’t talk, we don’t live together, I don’t know where he lives (I have my guesses), and we’ve never been more in modern love.

The vows wrote themselves, pouring from my ballpoint pen like milk being poured from a gallon of milk.

At the top of Machu Picchu, as the woman I would one day call my wife vomited up the engagement ring I’d hidden in her Nalgene, I caught a glimpse of God’s plan.

I asked Sally to watch “When Harry Met Sally” with me on our third date. My name isn’t Harry—it’s Henry—but it would have been very cool if it were Harry.

It felt right when I swiped right, but when he left I wished that I had swiped in the other direction (left).

The charcuterie board was covered with meats, cheeses, and a dog-eared letter from my late great-grandfather.

First, he stole my identity. Then he stole my heart.

In this “Modern Love” essay, I will argue that, although my ex cheated on me with my best friend, I share blame for the demise of our relationship, insofar as I could not successfully articulate my emotional wants, needs, and feelings in a concise, productive way during the relationship.

When I met Sally, I asked if she’d seen “When Harry Met Sally.” She had. I hadn’t. My name is Brian.

“What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me,” Haddaway sang over the hospital loudspeakers as a baby named Haddaway hurt me during a scheduled C-section.

I’m Christian. My husband is Jewish. We’re getting a Buddhist divorce.

Of all the Etsy shops in all the towns in all the world, she bought used baby shoes from mine.

I called No. 54 at the D.M.V. where I work. The next day, No. 54 called my number.

Men always ask me to watch “When Harry Met Sally” because my name is Sally, but they’re never named Harry, so they’re not as clever as they think.

Everything on my wedding day was picture perfect—it’s how I knew that something was horribly wrong.

Love is like a box of chocolates, in that I like both of those things.

In rural Alabama, where coyotes holler and jug bands play, “I love you”s are rarer than routine medical care.

The dick pic looked familiar, as if I’d seen it in a dream; then it dawned on me that it was a picture of my own penis.

When you realize you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible, Sally.

I didn’t know love until I gave birth and fell in modern love with the obstetrician. ♦

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Modern Love, Revised and Updated: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption Paperback – September 3, 2019

• Print length 304 pages
• Language English
• Publisher Crown
• Publication date September 3, 2019
• Dimensions 5.16 x 0.63 x 8 inches
• ISBN-10 0593137043
• ISBN-13 978-0593137048
• See all details

Editorial Reviews

About the author, excerpt. © reprinted by permission. all rights reserved., product details.

• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Crown; Updated edition (September 3, 2019)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Paperback ‏ : ‎ 304 pages
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0593137043
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0593137048
• Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.16 x 0.63 x 8 inches
• #162 in Dating (Books)
• #443 in Love & Romance (Books)
• #746 in Short Stories Anthologies

About the authors

Daniel jones.

Daniel Jones has edited the Modern Love column in The New York Times since its launch in 2004. His books include “Love Illuminated: Exploring Life's Most Mystifying Subject with the Help of 50,000 Strangers,” “The Bastard on the Couch: 27 Men Try Really Hard to Explore Their Feelings About Love, Loss, Freedom, and Fatherhood,” and a novel, “After Lucy,” which was a finalist for the Barnes & Noble Discover Award. His new book, "Modern Love," is an anthology of many of the best Modern Love columns from the past 15 years. Jones appears weekly on the Modern Love podcast and is consulting producer for Amazon Studios’ show “Modern Love.” He lives in Northampton, Massachusetts and in New York City.

Deborah Copaken

DEBORAH COPAKEN is the New York Times bestselling author of several books, including Shutterbabe, The Red Book, and Between Here and April. A contributing writer at The Atlantic, she was also a TV writer on "Emily in Paris," performer (The Moth, etc.), and a former Emmy Award-winning news producer and photojournalist. Her photographs have appeared in Time, Newsweek, and The New York Times. Her writing has appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Guardian, The Financial Times, The Observer, The Wall Street Journal, The Nation, Slate, O, the Oprah Magazine, and Paris Match, among others. Her column, “When Cupid is a Prying Journalist,” was adapted for the Modern Love streaming series. She lives in Brooklyn with her family.

Customer reviews

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Customers say

Customers find the stories great, real, and relatable. They also describe the characters as heartfelt and memorable. Readers describe the book collection as amazing and well written. Opinions are mixed on the writing style, with some finding it brutally honest with laughable moments interspersed, while others say it's uninspiring and short.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

Customers find the stories in the book great, real, and human.

" Loved the variety of stories , good night time reading before bed" Read more

"I like this book, these true stories . It is like a peek into another one’s love. It is always refreshing to see a different kind of love...." Read more

"Such a great variety of short stories displaying a multitude of types of love." Read more

"... Many of the stories were very moving ." Read more

Customers find the characters in the book relatable, inspiring, and real. They also appreciate the insights and humor in abundance.

"...All are well-written, a commitment and run the gamut from humorous to heart-wrenching . Every single one of them had something to offer...." Read more

"...A relatable journey of the heart. Many of the short stories brought me to tears , which is saying a lot, for someone who is not a cryer in general...." Read more

"...are gems about a cherished moment in time, filled with warmth, humor, insight , sadness, disappointment, and heartbreak, but most of all, honesty." Read more

"...Every one was a gem, with humor, warmth and insights in abundance . Please read this book!" Read more

Customers find the book collection amazing and fun. They also wish there was more non-online content.

"Such an amazing collection of essays that explore all the different facets of love, from my favorite New York Times Sunday column, Modern Love...." Read more

"I loved reading these essays. Every one was a gem , with humor, warmth and insights in abundance. Please read this book!" Read more

" Amazing collection . Wish there was more non-online content. Great for a coffee table & to casually read. Inspiring, heartbreaking, human, and real." Read more

"Such a fun compilation of my favorite column ." Read more

Customers find the book well written.

"... All are well-written , a commitment and run the gamut from humorous to heart-wrenching. Every single one of them had something to offer...." Read more

"...The writing is wonderful , and the vignettes are so heartfelt and relatable. Some I remembered. Some were new to me...." Read more

"Loved the show and the book. Very easy read ! I also enjoyed how they add an update about the author after each essay." Read more

"...The writing is good , as one would expect...." Read more

Customers are mixed about the writing style. Some find it brutally honest with laughable moments interspersed, while others say it's uninspiring and stunningly sad.

" Brutally honest with laughable moments interspersed . A relatable journey of the heart...." Read more

" Stunningly sad , in fact. These are not stories of love so much as stories of loss and disappointment. The writing is good, as one would expect...." Read more

"...But all are gems about a cherished moment in time, filled with warmth, humor , insight, sadness, disappointment, and heartbreak, but most of all,..." Read more

"I loved reading these essays. Every one was a gem, with humor , warmth and insights in abundance. Please read this book!" Read more

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The New York Times

Questions/answers | q & a: modern love, q & a: modern love.

My name is Daniel Jones; I edit the Modern Love column in Sunday Styles. Since the column launched in October 2004, we have published nearly 120 personal essays covering a wide range of relationship experience: marriage, death, divorce, parenthood, dating. From a high school student in Seattle to a grandfather in Albany, these writers explore the complexities of love in all its forms, often through a contemporary lens.

Their stories can be funny ( “Men Don’t Care About Weddings? Groomzilla is Hurt,” about the trials of a controlling but out-of-control groom-to-be), devastatingly sad ( “Now I Need a Place to Hide Away,” about a mother who loses her 5-year-old daughter), or even full of practical advice ( “What Shamu Taught Me About A Happy Marriage,” about a wife who uses exotic animal training techniques on her husband).

Essays that appear are selected from the hundreds we receive every month and subjected to a rigorous editorial process. The best essays from the column’s first 18 months are collected in the book “Modern Love: 50 True and Extraordinary Tales of Desire, Deceit and Devotion,” recently published by Three Rivers Press.

I am happy for this opportunity to listen to your views, answer your questions about the editorial workings of Modern Love, comment on trends in contemporary relationships (I’ll try), and perhaps provide an editor’s perspective on some of the more provocative or broadly resonant stories we have run. [NOTE: Questions are no longer being accepted for this Q & A.]

Comments are no longer being accepted.

I love this column – I wait for it every week. I think it is really interesting to see how we find love and how we lose it. Sometimes it takes a lot of fortitude to write these stories – and I am sure that the act of writing them helps the authors deal with the pain – which is present in a lot of them. It also helps those of us reading to know that we aren’t going through love alone – and that others share our pain and joy.

How did you find the illustrator, David Chelsea and how did you go about choosing him to do the artwork for the column? What is the editing process each week as far as the graphics are concerned, does Mr. Chelsea show you sketches or talk to you about ideas ahead of time? Were you aquainted with his ironically titled comic book, “David Chelsea in Love?” He is a fine artist and adapts quite well to each piece.

where can I find comments on previous columns?

Oops . . . I believe the Ann Hood piece is titled “Now I Need A Place To Hide Away.” The title references a Beatles song, as Ms. Hood’s daughter was a Fab Four fan. What a beautiful, heartbreaking essay. Thanks for bringing it to us.

Modern Love is the best part of the Sunday Style section, which is otherwise filled mostly with dross, in my humble opinion. My personal favorite column remains “I’m With the Band,” which described a wife’s reaction to her husband’s late-blooming avocation as a rock ‘n’ roll musician. More importantly, I think Modern Love effectively counters the religiousity prevailing in this country that suggests there is only one way to love or one way to have a family. Moderen Love effectively captures the multi-faceted, messy, painful, and honorable ways we humans interact. Keep up the good work.

John, Thank you for your question. Although I am responsible for the editing of the essays each week, the Style editor, Trip Gabriel, oversees the other elements, including the illustration, headline, copy editing, and layout. As it happens, he is also answering reader questions today – all week, in fact – just down a bit on the home page. Feel free to run this question by him. I too admire David Chelsea’s brilliant work and am thrilled that he illustrates the column. -Daniel Jones

As a twice-married twice-divorced woman, I feel emotionally well-suited to comment as a veteran on matrimony. Marriage in America is to love as laxatives are to constipation. Something that makes everyhing flow much easier. Communities do not teach classes in how to marriages successful. It is only when you’re in trouble do couples or individuals seek help. Friends are ill-disposed to offer credible advice. Theirs is often based on marriage wars often more lost than won. This counsel is loaded with past hurts and guilt. If we could only prepare prospective partners with te requisite skills for successful marriages: good listening skills, the ability to play well with others, taking turns, consideration, cooperation. Marriage is an institution, legal iniits construct. We need to make it more human and malleable than it’s now constituted. If not, we make love more difficult to enshrine.

I look forward to the column each week.

Would you be willing to share some of the most valuable lessons you have garnered from the column?

How does one go about submitting an essay for this column? Is it an open submission?

I ran across what I thought was an excellent question for the editor, from Pandagon , in which she takes issue with a recent Modern Love essay. The essay was from Ashley Cross, about falling for a guy accused of rape.

The question, posed more provocatively than I would have done, is: Why is the NY Times publishing disingenuous apologies for rape?

You are the editor. What did you have in mind?

Obviously I know that the NY Times (and particularly the Style section) has a certain readership that you must be trying to appeal to. Still, the column strikes me as incredibly white, incredibly ipper-middle-class, and as such tends to describe a fairly narrow range of subjects, issues, and emotions. I remember a column on a black woman who’s date didn’t understand her identity politics, and I applaud you for publishing it. I only wish that the modern love that’s supposed to be portrayed in this column were a little more broadly applicable. I’m sure there are a number of readers who simply don’t see themselves as having access to the type of love written about here, because they don’t seem themselves represented.

You recently published a column by Ashley Cross titled “I Fell For a Man Who Wore an Electronic Ankle Bracelet.” Although the piece focused on Cross’s own experience, it also contained her recounting, in some detail, of events surrounding the sexual assault of another woman whom Cross had never met. I’m sure this situation does not often arise in the “Modern Love” section, and that guidelines as with a News or Op-Ed piece do not apply. However, was/is there any thought given to checking the historical accuracy of the writer’s comments or editing the piece to focus less on a thirdhand account of someone else’s sexual assault? Cross’s boyfriend was prosecuted in a court case and there is therefore a public record that differs hugely from her characterization of events. The column appeared widely in blogs after publication and re-ignited what must be a painful topic for both the perpetrator and the victim of a serious crime.

Regarding “trends in contemporary relationships.”

Here’s the scene. A large, upscale hotel lobby in (very liberal) Boulder, Colorado. An attractive couple, enjoying a glass of wine while cuddling on a lobby sofa. His arm around her, her hand placed affectionately on his chest. Fifteen feet away, my boyfriend and I are also enjoying a drink. It’s a beautiful late afternoon, we can see the sun setting over the mountains.

Question – why, in today’s society and given our very liberal location, do we still consider it “pushing the envelope” for us to hold hands in this situation? We fit in this setting as easily as the straight couple, yet if we’re anyplace other than a “gay ghetto,” public displays of affection feel daring. Our straight allies (and those who would deny us rights, for that matter) should see that we’re not too much different than them. Isn’t this the way for gay Americans to gain full equality? Or, should we stay at the “back of the bus” and take what we’re given?

I love the column. Have you considered publishing a collection of the essays? I’d buy it.

You published a tell-all column by a cousin of mine that had some dubious allegations about her father, who was dead and couldn’t defend himself. It also wasn’t tell-all, since it would have never been sent to you in the first place if the whole story about her family had to be told. What safeguards are you going to put in place to prevent dissembling about family quarrels and nasty divorces in the future.

Did you have any idea the Shamu essay would be so popular?

I too, am a huge fan of Modern Love, and really enjoyed your “love overview” last Sunday. You know so much about relationships. I look forward to reading your new anthology. I am taking Sue Shapiro’s journalism class at the New School, and we talked about your column in class last night. Actually, I had written a humorous essay about the insanity of life in NYC vs life in the country- wanted to send it to you. Sue said your column isn’t the right place. She suggested Escapes or the Regional section. I live in Rockland and the country I talk about in my piece is Columbia County. Could I get your opinion on this? Would you mind telling me who you think I could contact? Thanks!

I love this column. I save the styles section for second to last in my sunday reading. The arts section retains in prominent place as last read.

How far ahed do you choose the pieces? Do you arrange the pieces in any emotional order or do you choose the selected pieces at random from the lot of available ones?

There was one story, author dated a married a man who was in priison. My utter abhorrence was more visceral than I have ever had…I researched her e-mail and sent a polite note about my searing repugnance of her choices.

Keep up the good work

Could I try to submit something to Modern Love?

I look forward each Sunday to Modern Love. I appreciate the heart-felt stories of people trying to find an answer to the question: what is love.

I would like to know if editing the column has changed any of your previous notions about love and relationships?

Love, as elusive as a snow flake from the sky, even as elusive as grasping on to God. At 50, she still plays her hide and seek with me, and I continue to passionately pursue her, only to grasp on to shrouds of words, stories, thoughts, people, and self. Does anyone really, on a fundamental basis know what love is outside their own little domain of life? I have known loss of love via parents and siblings untimely death, but loss is not love itself. Is love a feeling that runs our engines? My question is this, do you truly believe that “love” has ever changed throughout the centuries to come down to this thing called modern love? Love is like a outstanding Turner landscape “timeless” and “etheral.” It is all the wonderful deeply profound relationships which transcends all space, time and linear understanding. So what is really is the meaning of modern love??

Love at times seems like the ache of possibility, the arc life, the sorrow of loss, all inextricably woven, for each of us, into a dense fabric we call life.

What have these articles taught you about the role and perhaps necessity of love in the affairs of man and woman…

Thanks….

I love the column. How well researched or backgrounded are the authors and their stories?

I think marriage is one of those things men can do to prove that they really care about their women. But it’s really a woman thing. I think there is still love out there but one should not look on love to keep a relationship alive. Sometimes love is not enough. Too bad!

What's Next

As a self-professed mega-fan of rom-com novels and films, I was thrilled when Amazon announced their upcoming Modern Love TV series , based on the long-running New York Times Modern Love column . Premiering on Oct. 18, the series boasts a star-studded cast (Anne Hathaway, Tina Fey, Dev Patel and Andrew Scott are just four of the show's featured actors) and will feature eight anthology-style episodes about love in all of its many forms — romantic, familial, platonic, sexual, and for oneself. Whether you're a long-time reader of Modern Love or are just discovering the column, now is the perfect time to catch up on some of the greatest essays before the show premieres.

In the revised and updated version of the Modern Love book (first published in 2007) editor Daniel Jones compiled 42 of the columns best essays. In his introduction to the book, Jones writes:

"I suppose if we are going to try to define what a love story is, we should begin by defining what love is, but that can be even more slippery. Our definitions of love, too, tend toward the flowery treatment. From where I sit, however -- as someone who has read, skimmed, or otherwise digested some one hundred thousand love stories over the past fifteen years -- love, at its best, is more of a wheelbarrow than a rose: gritty, and messy but also durable. Yet still hard to put into words."

Below are seven of my favorite of the 42 essays that appear in the Modern Love book, a great refresher for seasoned readers and a perfect precursor to the series for new fans, too:

'You Might Want to Marry My Husband' by Amy Krouse Rosenthal

In this March 2017 column (published just 10 days before she died of ovarian cancer at age 51) author Amy Krouse Rosenthal wrote a moving letter to her husband, Jason Rosenthal, in the hopes of finding him a new partner:

"Here is the kind of man Jason is: He showed up at our first pregnancy ultrasound with flowers. This is a man, who, because he is always up early, surprises me every Sunday morning by making some kind of oddball smiley face out of items near the coffee pot: a spoon, a mug, a banana. This is a main who emerges from the minimart or gas station and says, 'Give me your palm.' And voila, a colorful gum ball appears. (He knows I love all the flavors but white.) My guess is you know enough about him now. So let's swipe right."

Read "You Might Want To Marry My Husband."

'The Race Grows Sweeter Near Its Final Lap' by Eve Pell

Although Eve Pell's Jan. 2013 essay has not been officially confirmed as part of the Modern Love series, clues from the trailer highly suggest its inclusion. In it, Pell wrote of her late-in-life marriage to a Japanese American widower named Sam:

"Old love is different. In our 70s and 80s, we had been through enough of life’s ups and downs to know who we were, and we had learned to compromise. We knew something about death because we had seen loved ones die. The finish line was drawing closer. Why not have one last blossoming of the heart?"

Read "The Race Grows Sweeter In Its Final Lap."

'When Eve and Eve Bit the Apple' by Kristen Scharold

In this Nov. 2016 essay, writer Kristen Scharold wrote about coming out as queer and leaving her Evangelical church when she meets and falls in love with a woman named Jess:

"I felt my cramped religious framework of false dichotomies and moral starkness beginning to collapse. What once seemed like a bleak choice between losing my soul or losing my most cherished friend was in fact a lesson that true love is the only thing that could save me."

Read "When Eve and Eve Bit The Apple."

'When the Doorman is Your Main Man' by Julie Margaret Hogben

Hogben's Oct. 2015 essay (also seemingly included in the Modern Love series trailer) focused on the unique friendship she shares with her doorman, Guzim, and how his support helped her embark on the journey of single motherhood with courage:

"I became fodder for gossip: Who was the father? Did I dump him, or did he dump me? Valid questions, sometimes asked to my face, sometimes not. But down in the lobby, Guzim was there with no dog in the race. I wasn’t his daughter, sister or ex. I wasn’t his employee or boss. Our social circles didn’t overlap. Six days a week, he stood downstairs, detached but also caring enough to be the perfect friend, neither worried nor pitying."

Read "When The Doorman Is Your Main Man."

'Rallying to Keep the Game Alive' by Ann Leary

Leary's Sept. 2013 essay about the almost-end and subsequent reunification of her marriage to actor Denis Leary is a moving look at a modern marriage (and another essay that, though currently unconfirmed, also seems to be included in the Modern Love trailer.) She wrote:

"When we met, I was 20, he 25. We were too young and inexperienced to know that people don’t change who they are, only how they play and work with others. Our basic problem was, and is, that we are almost identical — in looks, attitudes and psychological makeup. Two Leos who love children and animals, and are intensely emotional and highly sensitive and competitive with everybody, but especially with each other."

Read "Rallying To Keep The Game Alive."

'Now I Need a Place to Hide Away' by Ann Hood

In her Feb. 2017 column, author Ann Hood wrote about The Beatles fandom she shared with her young daughter, Grace, who died suddenly of complications from a virulent form of strep when she was just five years old:

"It is difficult to hide from the Beatles. After all these years they are still regularly in the news. Their songs play on oldies stations, countdowns and best-ofs. There is always some Beatles anniversary: the first No. 1 song, the first time in the United States, a birthday, an anniversary, a milestone, a Broadway show. But hide from the Beatles I must. Or, in some cases, escape."

Read "Now I Need A Place To Hide Away."

'Take Me As I Am, Whoever I Am' by Terri Cheney

Terri Cheney's Jan. 2008 essay, which has been confirmed as the inspiration behind the episode of the Modern Love series starring Anne Hathaway, is about the author's experience with rapid-cycling bipolar disorder and how it affected her dating life. Cheney wrote:

"In love there’s no hiding: You have to let someone know who you are, but I didn’t have a clue who I was from one moment to the next. When dating me, you might go to bed with Madame Bovary and wake up with Hester Prynne. Worst of all, my manic, charming self was constantly putting me into situations that my down self couldn’t handle."

Read "Take Me As I Am, Whoever I Am."

This article was originally published on Sep. 12, 2019

Emilie Poplett

Writer , editor, consultant.

• Nov 6, 2019

Making Modern Love

Updated: Jun 11, 2022

What I learned from getting published in the New York Times' beloved column, and what I want aspiring Modern Love authors to know.

Fellow writers and readers, let's be friends! Connect with me on Twitter .

Modern Love has been called the “American Idol” of aspiring memoirists —and for good reason. The New York Times column has inspired a star-studded podcast, a television show, and some 50 or 60 book deals.

And an acceptance is hard to come by. Even before the column exploded into pop culture, editor Daniel Jones was receiving 9,000 or so submissions a year. With only one spot per week, that puts the chances of acceptance at… slim. (I don’t do math, okay? I do words only. You get it.)

In some ways, my acceptance into the column feels like too much of a fluke for me to offer any sound advice about "getting in." I am not an aspiring memoirist. I don’t rub elbows with Twitter-verified reporters or bestselling authors. I am a 29-year-old cat lady who copes with the not-so-shiny parts of life by writing them into essays, and I don’t typically submit those essays for publication.

This time I did.

So here's a little bit about what my experience was like, what I learned from working with Dan, and how I (unwittingly) “cracked the code.”

A note on "getting in."

I’ve seen dozens of articles about how to get an essay accepted into Modern Love. They’re all about studying the formula—the “thesis in two beats," the "four step narrative," the declarative nature of the column's first sentences and the revelation that comes in its last sentences—and then emulating what you’ve read.

I’m not sure I buy it.

Yes, you should familiarize yourself with the column, respect its submission guidelines , and only submit what could reasonably be considered a potential fit. But if you’re trying to replicate someone else’s voice, it’s going to feel duplicative and inauthentic. And you’ll be doing your story a disservice.

I think my essay was accepted because I didn’t dissect the formula and try to reproduce it. I told my story as honestly as I could, in the way I felt the story needed to be told, and that was good enough.

That’s not to say that I wasn’t familiar with the types of essays they typically run. I've read and loved the column since I was 22, and my essay was inspired by a piece that ran four years earlier, “ When a Couch is More Than a Couch ” by the late Nina Riggs. Her essay, along with her gorgeous memoir The Bright Hour , felt so immediate and profound to me. She had received her cancer treatment at the same hospital in North Carolina where I was a patient. We drove the same routes, entered through the same doors, likely made small talk with the same nurses. So I wrote my story because Nina wrote hers.

But her work is far too beautiful and transcendent to reduce it to a strategy for snagging a high-profile byline. Nina made me want to understand the ways I was coping with my mortality. She made me want to explore my own story. Maybe there’s an essay somewhere in the archives of Modern Love that will do for you what Nina’s essay did for me. I hope so.

I can’t tell you what worked for other people, but I can tell you what worked for me, and it was writing by ear. Writing because I wanted to make sense of what had happened to me. Writing until I felt like I had a story that moved and breathed and said what it needed to say, for no other reason than I needed to have said it.

I know this is sort of eye-roll-y advice. "How do I get published in Modern Love?" "By not trying so hard to get published in Modern Love!" Bleh.

My point is that you should tell your story the way your story demands to be told.

Tell your story as honestly and painstakingly as you know how.

Tell your story because it matters.

Then decide what to do with it.

With all that said, if your goal is to get a byline in Modern Love, there are patterns worth noting—many of them provided by Dan himself.

Dan has said that often the pieces that get published are the ones that tell the story of someone’s life. The story of the most painful, the most absurd, the most significant thing that has ever happened to that person.

It’s not something you’ll write in a weekend. I spent probably eight or 10 months chipping away at mine, and for at least the first handful of them, I had no intention of publishing it. My draft lived in a Google doc titled "This one is for me." As is the case with most personal essays, I didn’t know where I was going until I got there. It took a lot of time—a lot of letting myself write in different directions—before I realized what the essay was even about.

One of my favorite creative nonfiction authors and editors, Sari Botton (whose Skillshare class I highly recommend ), has said, “Write from the scars, not from the wounds.” If you're writing from the wounds, you might also need some intentional time away from the piece before you can return to it with enough emotional distance to do some decent editing. If this is the most important story of your life, it deserves time to breathe, and so do you.

A magical writing fairy named Laura Copeland did the work of compiling a whole bunch of other great tips from Dan . One of my favorites is tip #14 : Ditch the pitch mentality. Here’s what he says about it:

I still end up reading many essays that read as though they were written with a pitch mentality. They don't seem to have grown organically or stumbled into surprising places or reached a place of heightened awareness. Instead, they feel constricted and workmanlike, hemmed in by a need to execute a pre-conceived point…

It's comforting to write that way, to not let yourself get lost, to write by following the essayist's equivalent of a pre-set GPS device. And it can be scary and inefficient to careen off the road into the deep woods. You might waste all kinds of time and energy and still wind up totally lost. But you also might discover a place that can't be boiled down into a two-sentence pitch. It just can't. If someone wants to understand, they're going to have to read the whole thing. And if you've done your job well, they're going to want to.

What I love most about creative nonfiction is that it gives the writer the ability to explore, to deviate, to discover. Give yourself the space to do that rather than locking yourself into formula or analysis, and I think you will end up with a much more authentic, more interesting essay. When you write with the intention of exploring, you might stumble on something unexpected and beautiful. It'll be meaningful for you , first and foremost. It'll be honest. And that will make it good.

Most of us have that piece. The one we've been writing quietly, in private, for months or even years. The one that scares us the most. The one that is the most emotionally taxing to write. That's what this essay was to me.

Go write that one.

Then, when you're done, if you think it might make sense for Modern Love (and if you're cool with turning your soul inside out for millions of people to read and scrutinize), you can read all 34 pages of Dan's tips and incorporate them into your editing process in whatever way feels genuine to you.

I have not done a lot of submitting in my life, but I understand the rules to be:

Follow the submission guidelines .

Don’t be a jerk.

My cover letter was brief. Basically: “I think this essay could be a good fit for Modern Love. Thank you for reading it.”

I didn’t include any credentials because I don’t have any. I’d written one previous essay which was published in HuffPost . I don’t have an MFA. I never took a college course on creative writing. I don’t have a long list of clips. None of that was required. Dan is great about working with emerging writers who have interesting stories to tell. As he puts it, “ If your essay is rejected, it's not because you didn't have a connection or credits. If your essay is accepted, it's not because you have a book coming out. It's because you wrote an essay that made me stop drinking my coffee.”

I sent the email off and went on with my life. I had no expectation of a response of any kind. About four and a half months later, I got an email. It read:

This piece is fantastic. Let's talk about it?

I was only halfway through my first cup of coffee in the morning when I saw it. Having honest-to-God forgotten that I ever submitted the piece, I figured Daniel Jones was the guy from whom I was awaiting a quote for gutter cleaning. Then I saw his email signature, at which point I probably stopped breathing for 20 seconds, because "Oh, that Daniel Jones."

Despite his illustrious career and success, Dan is a super nice, down-to-earth guy with absolutely no discernible ego. You're submitting your words to a real live human, and he is a really good dude.

The Modern Love editing process

We set up an initial phone call, which lasted for about an hour. For the first half of it, he asked me questions about my story, and I walked him through what happened. In the second half we talked about the essay itself.

He read his notes aloud for me. It went basically like this:

I like that sentence…

Let’s establish your age higher up in the piece…

You can’t say ‘batshit’ in the New York Times …

It was a funny and encouraging and all-around nice conversation. I was nervous about it, but he put me at ease. He told me my essay was an easy acceptance, that it was well written but not overwritten. He approached it with the eye of a seasoned editor, but—if I may be so cheesy—with the heart of a reader, which is part of what makes him so good at what he does.

When we ended the call, I sent along a bone marrow biopsy pathology report and some notes from my oncologist to verify that my story is true.

The editing process was smooth and easy. We didn’t make many edits. Dan tightened it up and sent it my way in a Google doc for approval. Then it went to a second editor, Anya, for final edits. And that was it!

"Did it change your life?"

This is what people want to know. Did it change your life? Did publishers come banging down your door? Did the local news contact you for an interview? No (although that has happened for plenty of Modern Love writers). But I got a pretty beautiful moment out of it. Here’s what I wrote after I picked up a newspaper with my name on it:

I used to see people achieving their bucket list goals and think, “Their lives must change overnight.”

Then I got a bucket list opportunity. And my life didn’t change. It didn’t become more glamorous. I didn’t become more worthy. People didn’t love me more than they had the day before. I heard beautiful, kind, life-giving words from loved ones and colleagues and strangers, and then we all went on with the regular stuff of life.

I am still scrubbing cat puke out of the carpet. I am still up in the middle of the night wondering if my sadness will crush me for good this time. I am still doubtful, still insecure, still (almost) as sick as I was in the story they ran in the Sunday paper.

It was a beautiful experience, but it was just a moment. And now it’s a really pretty piece of paper that hangs on my wall.

This is all just to say, your accomplishments don’t determine your worth. The visible successes are not the core of us. They are momentary. We are momentary. Whatever it is, we go on.

Some final thoughts

It was the honor of a lifetime to be published in Modern Love. A completely thrilling and beautiful experience. But I know I didn't get there through hard work alone. Publication involves luck and good timing, and I am not a particularly lucky individual, historically speaking. So it would have been easy for me not to submit my essay at all.

If I had only submitted my writing to places I thought might actually publish it, I would never have sent it to the New York Times . Never ever.

So, as the saying goes, don't self-reject. Don't be the one to decide that it's not good enough. Send it anyway. You never know.

Connect with me on Twitter .

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What makes a good partner — and how to cultivate connection

Rachel Wilkerson Miller

Clare Marie Schneider

COVID-19 makes dating, hooking up and even keeping the spark alive in an existing relationship more difficult. That makes it a great time to reflect on what you're looking for in romantic relationships and to do what you can to make dating (or kinda-dating, or sleeping with someone, or being coupled) feel less exhausting and more fulfilling.

To better understand how to think about attraction, falling in love and cultivating intimacy, I spoke to writer Mandy Len Catron, author of How to Fall in Love With Anyone and the viral 2015 New York Times article " To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This ." Here are some of her best insights.

How To Set Boundaries With Family — And Stick To Them

We have more control over whom we fall for than we might realize.

"When we talk about attraction, we talk about it in this really passive way, as if it's this thing that sort of happens inside of us, instead of thinking about it as something that we actually have some influence over," Catron says. "We have a lot of say over who we want to invest our time and energy into." And realizing you have autonomy can be empowering: It can help you open yourself up to new experiences, including attractions that may feel new to you (like interest in someone who isn't your "type" or even someone who is a different gender from the people you've always dated). It can help you end relationships that are full of intense feelings but also endless drama.

"I don't necessarily think you can force yourself to fall in love with someone, but I do think you can re-create the conditions that help intimacy thrive," Catron says.

5 Steps To Shake The Feeling That You're An Impostor

To help intimacy thrive, both people need to be willing to be vulnerable — but it's a good idea to ease into it slowly.

One of the defining features of the 36 questions that (supposedly) lead to love is the way they get increasingly intimate, but it happens gradually, so you're not talking about matters of life and death until the very end of the conversation. And that's a good approach for real life too, Catron says — whether you're getting to know a potential partner or just talking to a new friend. Sharing too much too soon can make the other person feel uncomfortable or like there's an imbalance in the relationship. So start small.

"[Vulnerability] doesn't have to take the form of confessing your most intimate secrets or dumping out your whole family history," Catron says. "I think it comes in much smaller ways, like talking about something that's really important to you or that you're passionate about. Or start with telling a funny but embarrassing story that you wouldn't necessarily tell a stranger." When you open up in a thoughtful, measured way, she says, it invites the other person to do the same.

How To Savor Chocolate Like A Cocoa Expert

If you're looking for a relationship, pay close attention to how potential partners treat you, and don't waste your time on anyone who isn't genuinely excited about you.

"We're not always thinking about what makes a great partner when we're dating and looking for a long-term relationship," Catron says. Researchers have identified qualities that make someone likely to be a good long-term relationship partner: Openness to new experiences, agreeability and conscientiousness are all good signs. "Someone who is just responsible and who takes care of themselves and other people," Catron says. "I mean, these things, when you lay them out like that, seem obvious, and yet I don't think we're thinking about them very often as we're going about our dating lives."

How To Fall In Love, According To Hinge's Relationship Scientist

But even the most agreeable or easygoing person in the world won't be a good partner if they don't treat you well. So pay close attention to whether the person celebrates you and your wins and how they respond to your "bids." "You just want someone who shows up, engages with you and makes a big deal out of things that are important to you," Catron said.

"The simplest metric is finding someone who makes you feel better about who you are, who never makes you feel smaller or inadequate," Catron said. "It's a really simple metric that is pretty reliable across all different kinds of relationships."

Rachel W. Miller is the deputy editor at Vice Life. Her second book, The Art of Showing Up , came out in May 2020. (You can hear about it on Life Kit here and here .) Follow her on Twitter .

This episode was produced by Clare Marie Schneider .

We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at [email protected] .

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How to Get Your Story Published in the New York Times Modern Love Column

Introduction to Writing for Modern Love:

The New York Times Modern Love column is a weekly series that features stories about relationships, feelings, betrayal, and revelations. It is one of the most widely read columns in the paper and has been a beloved staple for readers for many years. If you’ve ever wanted to write for The New York Times , submitting a story to Modern Love is one of the best ways to do it. Here’s how to write and pitch your piece.

Writing Your Piece for Modern Love

The first step in getting your work published in Modern Love is writing your story (you can write about your ex or write about true love ; you could even write about your family ). Remember that this column focuses on relationships and personal reflections, so use that as your inspiration when coming up with ideas.

Once you know what to write about, begin drafting your story. Keep it short—Modern Love essays usually range from 500-1,200 words—and make sure to focus on vivid details that bring your piece to life.

The essay should be honest and true while still entertaining and engaging. And don’t forget to make sure you’re following all the submission guidelines!

Pitching Your Piece to The New York Times

Once you’ve written your piece, it’s time to pitch it!

To do this, go to the Modern Love page on The New York Times website and click “Submit an Essay for Consideration” at the bottom. From there, fill out all necessary information (including a brief but compelling description of your essay) before submitting it directly through The New York Times website or emailing [email protected] with “Submission Attached” in the subject line.

Make sure all information is accurate and complete before submitting it—this will help ensure that your essay gets seen by an editor more quickly!

20 Modern Love Prompts

• The story of how I met my partner and the twists and turns our relationship took.
• The moment I realized I had been in an emotionally abusive relationship.
• The journey of learning to trust again after being betrayed by a loved one.
• The difficulties of maintaining a relationship while dealing with a chronic illness.
• The unexpected love that developed between two people who initially disliked each other.
• The decision to open up a relationship and the challenges that came with it.
• The story of falling in love with someone from a different culture and how it affected our relationship.
• The journey of rebuilding a relationship after infidelity.
• The realization that I was in a codependent relationship and the steps I took to change it.
• The story of falling in love with someone who was initially just a friend.
• The moment I realized I was in love with my best friend.
• The day I found out my partner had been cheating on me.
• The decision to end a long-term relationship because of differences in values.
• The journey of learning to love myself after a toxic relationship.
• The unexpected love that blossomed between two coworkers.
• The challenges of navigating a long distance relationship.
• The moment I realized I was gay and how it affected my relationship with my family.
• The realization that my partner and I had grown apart over the years.
• The unexpected joy of falling in love again after heartbreak.
• The realization that my relationship with my parents had changed and how we learned to navigate it.

Tips on How to Write and Pitch your Piece:

• Start by reading the column regularly. Familiarizing yourself with the tone and style of Modern Love will help you get a better sense of what they are looking for in a piece.
• Think about your story. What about your relationship, feelings, betrayals, or revelations makes it unique and interesting to readers? How can you convey your story compellingly and honestly?
• Write a strong and concise pitch. Your pitch should include a brief summary of your story, your credentials as a writer, and why you think your story would be a good fit for Modern Love. Keep your pitch to around 250-300 words.
• Follow the submission guidelines. Read and follow the submission guidelines on the Modern Love website. This includes guidelines on length, formatting, and how to submit your pitch.
• Be patient. The Modern Love column receives a high volume of submissions, so it may take some time for them to review and respond to your pitch. Don't get discouraged if you don't hear back immediately, and consider submitting your pitch to other publications as well.

How to Submit Your Piece

Modern Love has two submission periods, September through December and March through June.

Send submissions to: [email protected] . Please put the subject of your essay or a possible title in the email subject line.

Limit your essay to 1,500-1,700 words.

Attach your essay as a Microsoft Word-compatible doc and paste the text into the body of the email. If your first submission is incomplete, please resubmit one complete entry; do not submit just the missing pieces in additional emails.

Essays must be entirely true. Do not use pseudonyms (including for yourself), composite characters or invented situations or scenes. There are no exceptions to this rule.

Essays must be previously unpublished. Work that has appeared online — on another news website, a personal blog, Medium or elsewhere — is considered previously published.

Essays will be edited in consultation with writers, and writers will be compensated for work that is published.

Getting published in The New York Times can be incredibly rewarding—especially if it's in their beloved weekly series Modern Love! Writing compelling pieces and pitching them properly are important steps in getting noticed by editors at The New York Times ; following these steps can increase your chances of having your work seen by them. Whether you're a seasoned writer or just starting out, writing for Modern Love is always an amazing experience that can give you great satisfaction once published!

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Personal Essay Idea to First Draft: an Interview with Samantha Ladwig

The Battle of Speed v. Authority: an Interview with Kyle Minor

Meet the Teaching Artist: Writing Through Grief with Katie Reilly

Meet the Teaching Artist: Writing About Your Ex with Elizabeth Teets

How to get published.

25 Modern Love Essays to Read if You Want to Laugh, Cringe and Cry

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This post was originally published on this site

New to Modern Love? These 25 essays should provide a good introduction. You’ll find some of our most read and most shared of all time, and others that really got readers talking (and tweeting, and sharing). We present, in no particular order, the quirky, the profound, the head scratching and the heartbreaking. (A handful of these essays and dozens more of our most memorable columns can also be found in the recently published Modern Love anthology .)

To keep up on all things Modern Love — our weekly essays, podcast episodes and batches of Tiny Love Stories, along with other relationship-based reads from The Times — sign up for Love Letter , a weekly email. And check out the “Modern Love” television series , based on this column, on Amazon Prime Video.

1. No Sound, No Fury, No Marriage

After her peaceful marriage quietly dissolves, a woman comes to appreciate the vitality of conflict and confrontation.

2. Sometimes, It’s Not You , or the Math

He didn’t care that I was 39 and hadn’t had a serious boyfriend in eight years.

3. Am I Gay or Straight? Maybe This Fun Quiz Will Tell Me

A young woman seeks answers to her sexual orientation online, where the endless quizzes she takes deliver whatever label she wants.

4. First I Met My Children. Then My Girlfriend. They’re Related.

A former sperm donor, searching online, finds both offspring and love. 

5. What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage

I wanted — needed — to nudge my husband a little closer to perfect.

6. The 12-Hour Goodbye That Started Everything

A spurned woman confronts the question: When you lose love, should you even try to get over it?

7. During a Night of Casual Sex, Urgent Messages Go Unanswered

On one of the most consequential evenings of his life, a young man still finding himself wishes he had picked up the phone.

What happens if you decide that falling in love is not something that happens to you, but something that you do?

8. Let’s Meet Again in Five Years

They thought college was too soon for lifelong love, so they scheduled their next date for a little later — 60 months.

9. My Body Doesn’t Belong to You

A young woman who finds herself being catcalled, followed and grabbed at wonders why some men seem to think a female body is public property.

10. Making a Marriage Magically Tidy

At her husband’s suggestion (and with the wisdom of Marie Kondo), a recovering slob discovers the sexiness of cleanliness.

11. Loved and Lost? It’s O.K., Especially if You Win

It’s O.K. to fall deeply for one loser after another. It’s O.K. to show up at a guy’s house with a dozen roses and declare your undying affection.

12. To Stay Married, Embrace Change

It’s unrealistic to expect your spouse to forever remain the same person you fell in love with.

13. After 264 Haircuts, a Marriage Ends

He acknowledged he was gay and left his wife, but he kept returning home for their monthly ritual.

14. In the Waiting Room of Estranged Spouses

An ex-soldier, rocked by infidelity, finds hope in a chance meeting with a mother and her young son.

15. What Sleeping With Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity

A divorced woman seeking no-strings-attached liaisons learns a sobering lesson about men and marriage.

16. Sharing a Cab, and My Toes

During a taxi ride home a co-worker makes a surprising request.

17. On Tinder, Off Sex

Living a life where secondary abstinence isn’t exactly a first choice.

18. No Labels, No Drama, Right?

The winner of the 2015 Modern Love college essay contest, who was then a sophomore at Columbia University, writes about her generation’s reluctance to define relationships.

19. Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear

“I don’t love you anymore,” my husband said, but I survived the sucker punch.

20. You May Want to Marry My Husband

After learning she doesn’t have long to live, a woman composes a dating profile for the man she will leave behind.

21. Somewhere Inside, a Path to Empathy

A man learns to deal with Asperger’s syndrome, with the help of his wife.

22. My Husband Is Now My Wife

He took the first step in becoming a woman: surgery to help his face look more feminine.

23. Would My Heart Outrun Its Pursuer?

How might a woman love the millstone I believed myself to be?

24. When Eve and Eve Bit the Apple

A Christian woman’s identity is challenged by her love for church and another woman.

25. To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This

Daniel Jones is the editor of Modern Love.

Modern Love can be reached at [email protected] .

Want more? Watch the trailer for the Modern Love TV show , coming to Amazon Prime Video on Oct. 18; read past Modern Love columns and Tiny Love Stories ; listen to the Modern Love Podcast on iTunes , Spotify or Google Play Music ; check out the updated anthology “ Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption ;” and follow Modern Love on Facebook .

DANIEL JONES

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7 “Modern Love” Essays You Need to Read

The beloved New York Times column, “Modern Love,” has been publishing weekly essays for 15 years. The personal writings deal with heartbreak, revelations and feelings…all in 1,800 words or less. It’s grown into a book, a podcast and, most recently, a TV show. 

Love can take place between significant others, friends, family, pets, or even one’s own self, which the column tries to emphasize. So, this Valentine’s Day, treat yourself to reading about someone else’s love. Here are our picks for seven “must read” entries:

It’s a tale about a drawn-out break-up and the fall out that resulted. For anyone who feels as though the hurt might never end after a devastating goodbye, this is the one for you. 

“I’m not sure if we fall in love with people or if we fall in love with the way they make us feel, the ways they expand who we are and wish to be.” ​

A story within a story within a story, this is all about missed loves and connections rekindled after years. It’s equally heartbreaking and warming – perfect for complicated Valentine’s feels. 

“I found him by accident, doing research on theater companies for my last novel. There he was above his too-common name. I composed the email: ‘Are you the same man who stood me up in Paris?’” ​

Take caution: you’ll need a box of tissues for this one. Sometimes the things we love are forever tainted by a traumatic situation. How we move on is an ever-evolving journey. 

“It is difficult to hide from the Beatles. After all these years they are still regularly in the news. Their songs play on oldies stations, countdowns, and best-ofs…but hide from the Beatles I must.” ​

Not often are love stories about elderly couples told. In this gorgeously written piece, two people find a love to end their lives with and compare it to the loves they’ve had before. 

“Old love is different. In our 70s and 80s, we had been through enough of life’s ups and downs to know who we were, and we had learned to compromise. We knew something about death because we had seen loved ones die. The finish line was drawing closer. Why not have one last blossoming of the heart?”

In one of the most shared ML columns ever, a wife searches for new ways to deal with the human flaws that appear throughout a marriage. It’s a sweet, hilarious look at how we can learn to co-exist, while also checking our own shortcomings. 

“After two years of exotic animal training, my marriage is far smoother, my husband much easier to love.” ​

What does it mean to have a relationship without a label? Does the concept lend itself to more heartbreak than we might be admitting? This is the essay for all of us broken-hearted over someone we never actually dated. 

“We aren’t supposed to want anything serious; not now, anyway. But a void is created when we refrain from telling it like it is, from allowing ourselves to feel how we feel. And in that unoccupied space, we’re dangerously free to create our own realities.”

Finally, the essay that made us cry for days. The writer is penning a letter to her husband’s future love, as she is dying from terminal cancer. It’s a touching and unbearably sweet tribute to a love that lasts – in life and in death. Bonus, a year after the author’s death, her husband wrote the followup, “My Wife Said You May Want to Marry Me.”

“I need to say this (and say it right) while I have a) your attention, and b) a pulse. I have been married to the most extraordinary man for 26 years. I was planning on at least another 26 together.”

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Sabrina Carpenter's new album 'Short n' Sweet' is a masterful indictment of modern dating

• Sabrina Carpenter released her new album "Short n' Sweet" on Friday.
• The 12-song tracklist unpacks dating mishaps and romantic betrayals, often through a comedic lens.
• It lives up to the promise of hit singles "Espresso" and "Please Please Please."

Despite its cheeky title, Sabrina Carpenter's new album "Short n' Sweet" arrived on Friday with a tall order to fill.

Carpenter's sixth album was preceded by smash hits " Espresso " and " Please Please Please ," which peaked at No. 2 and No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100, respectively, and dominated the annual contest for song of the summer . But "Short n' Sweet" isn't just Carpenter's most anticipated release to date. It's the best, most idiosyncratic work of her career.

Carpenter literally stands at 5 feet, as she clarifies in the album's opening track, but the title isn't simply derived from her Polly Pocket likeness. It also refers to important relationships she's recently weathered, whose brief durations belie the emotional wreckage they caused — what Gen Z might describe as a " situationship ."

"I thought about some of these relationships and how some of them were the shortest I've ever had, and they affected me the most," she told Apple Music's Zane Lowe .

Indeed, throughout "Short n' Sweet," Carpenter isn't coy about the vulgar, demoralizing underbelly of modern dating. And yet, she renders it bearable — even better, fun! — with her enduring sense of humor. Sometimes, as the kids say, you just have to laugh.

Smartly released as the second single, "Please Please Please" offers the closest thing Carpenter has to a thesis: "Heartbreak is one thing, my ego's another / I beg you don't embarrass me, motherfucker."

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It's a masterful indictment of the information age: Now that everyone's online , everyone has an opinion, and social-media stalking is a national pastime. Falling in love has always been scary for personal reasons, but now, it also comes with a social risk. Every partner that makes it to "Instagram official" status becomes a potential liability — or, for someone of Carpenter's stature, a scandal.

Album highlights " Taste " and " Coincidence " both skewer a man who swore he was over his ex, just for Carpenter to see photos of them online, like, two seconds after he left — a classic tale of digital courtship. In the latter, Carpenter reveals the ex in question was texting the guy dirty photos while he and Carpenter were still together. (The nerve!)

"What a surprise, your phone just died / Your car drove itself from LA to her thighs," she teases in the bridge of "Coincidence," a couplet that might send a Laurel Canyon-era lyricist into cardiac arrest.

The album is peppered with sly winks like these, blending lust and absurdity and the sting of rejection with impressive finesse. " Dumb & Poetic " paints an all-too-familiar portrait of a male manipulator, the kind of guy who would insist "Fight Club" is the best movie ever made (without actually grasping its themes) and, in Carpenter's words, "jack off to lyrics by Leonard Cohen." Another playful standout, " Slim Pickins ," is Carrie Bradshaw by way of Dolly Parton, lamenting "all the douchebags in my phone" while low-key enjoying the drama.

Meanwhile, " Good Graces " and " Bed Chem " recall the horny R&B-pop stylings of Ariana Grande — Carpenter's true forebear, despite her recent association with Taylor Swift . Grande's 2019 opus "Thank U, Next" was a similar kind of snapshot, capturing a very particular moment in Grande's life and in pop culture, its tracklist stuffed with text-speak and shoutouts to trendy brands.

These kinds of modern touchpoints can easily come off as cringy or corny, especially in pop music, which already leans toward corn. (Even the ever-dedicated Swifties have balked at their idol's use of slang words and phrases in her songs, like "Hits Different" and "Down Bad.") But Carpenter uses them to build the very bedrock of her storytelling. "Short n' Sweet" is an album grounded firmly, almost defiantly, in the present day — all the struggles and ridiculous ills of dating app-era romance, which, despite the disappointment, usually make for great wine-night fodder.

Against all odds, her approach pays off. It even feels relatable. Carpenter may be a classic blonde bombshell with the voice of an angel, recounting her mishaps for millions of fans, but she doesn't play it like she's superior to those of us listening. It often feels like she's onstage, glancing into the crowd and rolling her eyes, like, "Can you believe this guy?" My takeaway: No, girl, I can't.

Final grade: 8.8/10

Worth listening to: "Taste," "Please Please Please," "Sharpest Tool," "Coincidence," "Bed Chem," "Espresso," "Dumb & Poetic," "Slim Pickins," "Juno," "Lie to Girls"

Background music: "Good Graces"

Press skip: "Don't Smile"

*Final album score based on songs per category (1 point for "Worth listening to," .5 for "Background music," 0 for "Press skip").

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The Olympic Games Paris 2024 mascot is Olympic Phryge. The mascot is based on the traditional small Phrygian hats for which they are shaped after.

The name and design were chosen as symbols of freedom and to represent allegorical figures of the French republic.

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Kipper ai: the breakthrough essay rewriter for flawless, undetectable academic writing .

• August 27, 2024

Every tool that shakes up a market has been met with fears of a reduction in individual skill, the value of the finished product, or even total human obsolescence as a result of technological innovation. Computers and calculators are still avoided even in the modern academic setting, amid fears that students will not be able to write, research, or perform mathematical equations without the assistance of a machine.  

Innovations designed to ease the workflow and improve efficiency have always been met with such skepticism, and now AI is the next scrutinized advancement. 

Fear of the Calculator and an AI Essay Writer  

Much like computers and calculators before it, Kipper AI is a tool designed to assist students in their essay-writing coursework. It is a tool for improving efficiency and achieving better results from one’s work; after all, the human mind remains the guiding force behind the AI’s output. Kipper is meant to provide students with a means of completing tasks in a quick, but driven manner, taking a principled approach to an AI generator for essays. 

The Best AI for Writing Essays  

As AI becomes more integrated with modern technology, schools and companies have responded by using AI checkers such as TurnItIn and GPTZero to scrutinize submitted writing. Rather than understanding the tremendous benefit of AI essay writers to enhance productivity, schools are limiting students to traditional methods by using an AI essay detector and AI content checkers to restrict these new problem-solving resources.  

How Kipper Bypasses AI Detectors  

Kipper AI believes AI integration is an innovative step forward for productivity, and students should be familiarizing themselves with its processes rather than being discouraged from using them to their fullest potential. In accordance with this belief, Kipper AI has developed the best AI writing tool, capable of detector bypass and humanization. 

Kipper AI’s solution is to not only provide a high-quality, plagiarism-free essay writer , but to incorporate AI detection tools into its program. Using these tools in conjunction with the AI enables students to identify where their work might be flagged as AI, and rework those sections, avoiding any fears of their work being invalidated by TurnItIn or GPTZero.  

More than an AI Checker  

In addition to automating tedious essay work with zero detectability, Kipper AI offers a range of other tools and services designed to help students keep up with coursework and excel in their studies. Kipper AI features a Chatbot Tutor designed to help students find answers in lengthy PDFs and YouTube videos, or other sources the professor provides. The Chatbot Tutor more than lives up to its title, able to assist and teach on tasks at any time. An AI summarizer built into Kipper AI can take those same resources and create summaries, bringing essential information to the surface from beneath pages of reading or hours of watching videos.  

Why Kipper AI Avoids AI Detectors  

The world is based on innovation, and to deny progress in educational efficiency is to prevent students from embracing a new future. Students now have access to problem-solving skills previously unknown to other generations but are prevented from using them to their full extent. Kipper AI ensures students can make use of the tools available to them, bypassing AI detectors and allowing access to the full potential of AI. 

DISCLAIMER: No part of the story was written by The Signal editorial staff.

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They’re Putting Some Fun in Funerals

Modern, even hip, mortuaries around the world are hoping to answer one question: How do we commemorate death in 2024?

By Annabel Nugent

Reporting from London

In the affluent neighborhood of Crouch End in London, a new business is attracting some attention. The storefront’s blue-and-white facade is airy and minimalist. Three polka-dot vases on plinths sit in the window. To the casual observer, the space might look like an art gallery. But through the window is something a little more curious: a sea-foam-green box measuring 7 feet by 2 feet.

It’s generally upon noticing the box that passers-by will do a double-take of the shop’s signage: Exit Here. The polka dot vases aren’t vases. They’re urns. The box is a coffin. And in the back, unknown to them, is a 12-person morgue.

“We knew the name would be Marmite,” said Oliver Peyton, a renowned restaurateur, comparing the polarized reactions to his funeral home’s somewhat cheeky name to those elicited by the yeasty British spread. “You either love it or you hate it. My mother-in-law hates it.”

Mr. Peyton, who founded the first branch of Exit Here in the neighborhood of Chiswick in 2019 as a modern alternative to traditional funeral parlors, is a familiar face on the British hospitality scene: He was the founder of the Atlantic Bar & Grill, a West London hot spot that closed in 2006, and he served as a judge on the BBC show “Great British Menu.”

Mr. Peyton, 62, who is originally from Sligo, Ireland, became interested in the mortuary business while planning a funeral for his father, who died in 2010. He felt that there weren’t enough choices in the process. “Funerals are historically a hand-me-down business,” he said, adding that people tend to use the funeral parlor that’s closest to their home.

He also believes funeral planning is not so different from hospitality. “It’s still a service industry,” he said. “We’re taking care of people at a very heightened emotional period in their lives.”

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